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If We Were Having Coffee

Posted by: | Posted on: May 25, 2016
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images (19)If we were having coffee, we would meet up at my favorite place, order our coffees and sit down at one of the long community tables. I would look into your eyes, take a deep breath and hold back the tears. You’d say, “talk to me” because you are my friend, and you can read my face without me even saying a word. I’d spill everything, right there in public.

I’d tell you how frustrated I was with life right now, how frustrated I was that the job in Albany didn’t work out because of past mistakes and how I was trying hard not to do Karma’s job and just letting go. I would tell you how I have had a few interviews for really great jobs but decided not to take them, instead choosing to go out on the road with my husband and play tourist.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, while I should be grateful that I have the opportunity to play tourist in a different country, I still felt unsatisfied, like I didn’t matter, like I wasn’t making


How Do You Turn a Foe Into a Friend

Posted by: | Posted on: May 21, 2016
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images (21)First of all, how do you happen to have foes? The next question is the article title itself. Read on because I have got you covered in both the aspects.

How do foes come to exist in your life? It might be for one or more of the following reasons:

1) They are jealous of you and consider you to be their competitor.

2) You had an argument with them in which they lost.

3) They can’t stand your good standing or reputation. They feel happy, pulling you down while you strive to continue to succeed.

4) Or, they simply dislike you. They don’t like the plethora of knowledge or expertise you possess.

Well, it all boils down to the fact that you are way above them and they would like to hit you down.

How do you handle these typical foes? Well, there are always several way outs. Read on!!

I hit on a few tips here. Utilize them to your advantage. Here they go:

1) Be yourself. By no means, change yourself because of your foes. If you want to change something in you for the better, that’s different. But


Why Do Friendships Come To An End

Posted by: | Posted on: May 4, 2016
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images (18)If one was to think about a close friend, it could be someone they have known for a number of months or it may be a number of years. Yet regardless of how long they have known each other for, they will have a strong connection.

And through having this bond, their life is going to be a lot more fulfilling, and it will also make it easier. One could be in a position where they have a number of close friends, and these people are also going to play a significant part in their life.

Friends Forever

On one hand, there is the chance that one will stay friends with someone until their time on this earth comes to an end (or until the other persons time comes to an end. And on the other hand, there is the chance that their friendship will come to an end before that happens.

There will be people in the past that stayed friends with someone until the end, and there are bound to be people who will also have this experience in the future. It could be said


Have You Been Searching for a BFF

Posted by: | Posted on: May 3, 2016
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images (22)Have you been trying to find someone with whom you can be vulnerable? A girlfriend or a bestie who is open to hearing what is truly happening in your life and the emotions that you’re experiencing? So many of us struggle to find a great friend, someone who won’t judge or criticize us for what we’re thinking, feeling, or doing. After all, you can’t exactly take out a personal ad or go on Match.com for a BFF!

We all need someone who is both emotionally and physically available with whom we can share. And while men may also be longing for these deeper connections, women are more often the ones who express this need. Many of us are searching for a girlfriend (even if she is married or in a committed relationship) who is open to spending time together, and not only couples time together. Someone who won’t ditch us when she enters a new relationship, who deeply values the girlfriend relationship, someone in whom we can confide and be ourselves.

As we grow older it may seem more difficult to find this sort of


Your True Friend

Posted by: | Posted on: April 23, 2016
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download (19)You come into this world alone and leave alone. While you are here you meet a lot of people, they come and go; some stay till the end. But when the end does come even those who were around the longest have to stay back because it is your journey to embark upon. So in this scenario of constant change, a lifetime of being in a flux, what is it that has remained constant? You.

You are the most important person you will ever come across. Simply because you spend the most time with yourself and there is never an escape from being you. This doesn’t mean that you are the most and only important person in your life and you should put yourself before everything and everyone. But when the day ends and the dust settles, you are your own home.

Therefore, it becomes very essential for you to understand and familiarise yourself with who you really are and what you really want. Before we discuss why that is important let’s quickly look at what were to happen if you didn’t know yourself as


8 Simple Steps on How to Choose Friends Wisely

Posted by: | Posted on: April 21, 2016
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images (17)We all need friends that we can talk to, someone who we can vent our hardships in life. Or we just might want a friend who we can have fun with. Finding the right friend who can meet your expectations can be challenging. You want a friend who you share the same values a friend who can encourage you, congratulate you after accomplishing something, respects you and also a friend who does not take advantage of you.

By choosing the right friends you will avoid disappointments, stress or even depression.

You should look for a friend who has your best interest in their hearts. There can be such people who look like they care about your life but in reality they are just interested in getting something from you for their own selfish gain and they will do anything without caring about you, even if you are friendly to them.

Before you know how to choose your friends you need to “study everyone” know their weakness and strength, try to understand them. This will give you an understanding in choosing your friends and also becoming a


Why It Is Important to Have Friends Who Aren’t Exactly Like You

Posted by: | Posted on: April 7, 2016
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images (15)An English poet said “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” William Shakespeare has never been more precise in defining true friendship. Our friends have a special kind of love for us that they and only them can impart regardless of who and what we are.

But, why do only seek friendship from those who are like us? Is it because we are afraid to be judged and be left out? Let me share reasons why we should be friendly to people who are not us and live the valuable teachings of Shakespeare.

  • There is so much to learn from them

What is meant by “friends not exactly like you” is that they are way different from with regard to personality, beliefs, values system, interests and even preferences. These kinds of people will not only offer you companionship, but endless knowledge about important things you are less likely to encounter if not for them. Yes, it is a challenge to get to know them since they


A Spiritual Based Relationship Versus an Ego Based Relationship-Conquering Your Friendships

Posted by: | Posted on: April 4, 2016
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images (16)Can we monitor our thoughts and perceptions to live a happier and healthier life?

The answer is emphatically, yes. Since everything that we do and create is the result of a single thought, how can we ignore our daily thought patterns? We are our worse enemy when it comes to our mental and physical heath. The only thing in this life that we have total control over is our thoughts. Our thoughts create the life that we are living today and these thoughts were shaped and influenced by our parents and our environment. As an adult, we have total control over our thoughts and our reaction to our daily interactions. Whether the influence in shaping our thoughts were positive or negative, as an adult individual, we have the ability and the responsibility to monitor our thoughts and the words that come out of our mouth to make sure that everything that we say and do are compassionate and loving. We must guard our thoughts very carefully to avoid being mean and hateful in our thoughts and deeds. We need to avoid being a


Are Friends The People That We Get in Touch With When We Want Something

Posted by: | Posted on: March 25, 2016
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images (14)If one was to get in touch with someone they know it could be because they need something. However, it doesn’t mean that this will always be the case, as there could be times when they don’t need anything.

Curious

During these moments, one may want to find out about what they have been doing, and this will show that they are interested in their life. It is then not going to matter if someone is doing something significant, as they will want to stay up to date.

What this can then show is that one is happy to put their life to one side and to focus on someone else’s life. Through doing this, it will cause them to spend less time on their own life.

It’s Worth It

However, even though this is the case, it doesn’t mean that this will end up having a negative effect. The reason for this is that the effort one puts into another person’s life can end up making their life even more fulfilling.

So while one will lose time and energy through doing this, it can also enable them to


Why Low Maintenance Friendship Is The Best Kind

Posted by: | Posted on: March 25, 2016
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download (17)Friendship is a kind of relationship that affects you a person as it will become a valuable part of your being. But, some kind of friendships is better than others like those low maintenance that will not drain you with so much drama.

A low maintenance friendship does not mean settling down in a crappy relationship. Instead, this kind of relationship allows you to grow as an individual because the quality of the relationship comes out easily. They are the friends who do not demand constant communication nor hanging out. But, you know that they will always be there for you.

I am friends with four amazing ladies for ten years now, and we are nothing but low maintenance. And, these are the things I have learned from a decade of valuable friendship.

1 No drama

You are so busy with important things in your life that you don’t waste your time together with unwanted and unneeded drama. You would rather spend the limited days together having the fun you deserve to enjoy these rare moments.

With this kind of friendship, you have a wide understanding of each


Is Friendship the Burgeoning Step of a Relationship

Posted by: | Posted on: March 23, 2016
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download (18)Have you ever thought of the title question? Do you have any straight forward answers? I suggest that you read on for insights.

I had always thought and believed that friendship with a guy for a few years will lead to love and relationship. While I really was on that path, I was jolted out of the blues when the guy I was closely bonded with answered that he still considered me to be a friend and couldn’t think otherwise. He was the first guy I really liked and was starting to fall for him. I was dismayed with his response but respected his wishes, and in order to console myself, I sang the Titanic song over and over again, putting special emphasis on the line: “My heart will go on and on.”

Arranged marriages are rampant in our country and they do not always break, but rather stick. On the other hand divorce rates in our country have increased ten fold in the new era compared to the old times, even with marriages that initiated with love affairs.

So you see there is no easy


A Friend Who Will Hold Your Hand

Posted by: | Posted on: March 5, 2016
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images (13)We are all trying to move further ahead in life and be in a better place than we are today or have been in the past; there is always room for improvement. We find a lot of areas that need working upon be it in terms of our education, financial management, relationships or our nature. We may have set a list of goals for ourselves but we don’t know how to actually achieve them. It is even possible that we are doing one thing in life but it never really feels right and we don’t feel good about it.

If you have these questions too, maybe your answer is a coach. That’s right! Now you may be thinking about some man in his middle ages, a cap on his head cheering for his team and instructing them on how to play the game. While the coach I’m talking about will also be instructing you on how to play this game called life, he won’t necessarily look like a usual coach.

I’m talking about a life coach. This person is equipped with everything that is needed


Stuck in an Unsatisfying Relationship? Want to Know What to Do About It? How to Find True Intimacy?

Posted by: | Posted on: February 23, 2016
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download (15)Many “fall asleep” in their relationship: they feel bored, unexciting “doing” their life on automatic pilot, every day the same routine, unsatisfied, at times feeling humiliated, disillusioned, forgetting that there “once” was love between them and their partner; that there “once” was sex, and happiness.

Why does it happen that the relationship deteriorates?

There are many reasons for this situation to develop:

  • You grow apart from one another;
  • You were never “meant” to be together, but somehow began a relationship, out of fear of being alone, out of initial attraction, etc.
  • You come from different backgrounds and cultural milieu, initially ignoring this fact, but slowly realizing your worlds are light-years apart from each other;
  • One of you devotes all available time to working (whether outside of the home or in home), thus doesn’t allow any time for intimacy;
  • And so on and so forth…

Regardless of the reason your relationship deteriorates, what is important is that you decide what you want to do about it. Many just go on with their life “as if” nothing happened; “as if” everything is o.k.; “as if” they don’t actually see and feel any difference,


Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Keep People At A Distance

Posted by: | Posted on: February 12, 2016
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download (14)​There are some people who are able to connect with others, and then there are others who are unable to do so. When one can do this, there is a strong chance that they are going to be used to having people in their life that they are close to.

One on side this could mean that they will have a number of close friends, and on the other side it could also mean that they are in an intimate relationship. Yet even if they are not with someone at this point in their life, it doesn’t mean that their life is always this way.

A Partner

If they are with someone, they are likely to find that they can spend time with them without feeling as though they are losing themselves. As a result of this, it will allow them to share their own life and for the other person to do the same.

One will be able to fulfil their needs, and this is naturally going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing. And as they are able to maintain their sense of self


How Getting Close to People Forces Us To Grow

Posted by: | Posted on: February 4, 2016
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download (16)PAULINE and Geraldine met at church one day. They seemed immediately to have much in common. Both had a baby and another child each under six. And their respective husbands, Brice and Doug, seemed to get along together as well. Both families spent much time together over the ensuing five years, at church, in each other’s homes, serving others for Christ together, and serving and loving each other. Both couples were active in their serving within their church, much to the extent that between the four of them they were nearly three fulltime equivalent pastoral roles (senior leaders) on the church staff. Each couple was not only an ideal complement for each other, but both couples were an ideal complement for their church. Everything worked so well. And, best of all, the church was growing in reach into the community, and in spiritual depth.

But then something happened, which happens in a lot of relationships. A misunderstanding occurred, a theme of poor communication developed, and the relationship disintegrated.

Geraldine and Doug experienced a sudden loss within their family, and they found what they deemed to


Do Some People Get Back With Their Ex In Order To Avoid How They Feel

Posted by: | Posted on: February 2, 2016
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images (12)sense of relief, and this can mean that they won’t feel the need to get back together with the person they were with. Even so, this doesn’t mean that the other person is having the same experience.

As a result, they can try and revive the relationship, and one could start to wonder when they are going to move on. One could feel as though they have outgrown each other, and there will then be no reason for them to get back together.

Abuse

If this isn’t the case, there is the chance that the relationship was abusive, and then this will show that one is doing the right thing. The person they have left is not going to be healthy and it will be in their best interest to keep them out of their life.

Through spending time with them, they will know how destructive they are. What this will show is that one is no longer willing to tolerate their bad behaviour, and that they have changed.

The Other Person

If person they were with does try to revive the relationship, they could remind them of all


Are Friends The People That We Have In Our Life Who Undermine Us

Posted by: | Posted on: January 25, 2016
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images (10)While one can share their life with people who support them, they can also be in a different position. As a result of this, the people they are closest to could be the ones who hold them back.

The Ideal

When one has people around them are able to support them, their life is going to be far more fulfilling. There is a strong chance that they will feel good when they are in their presence, and it could make it easier for them to move forward in life.

And as they act in a supportive manner towards them, there might be no reason for them to hold anything back. Or if they do, it could be something that rarely takes place, and this is going to allow them to have a strong connection with these people.

A Richer Life

There will then be how they feel when they spend time with them, and the effect these people have on their life in general. It could be said that their life wouldn’t be the same without these people.

Now, this is not to say that they are ‘dependent’


Is It A Form Of Indirect Revenge When Someone Always Criticises Others

Posted by: | Posted on: January 12, 2016
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images (11)If someone was to think about what their friends are like, they may start to think about how supportive they are. These are then going to be the kind of people who are life-affirming, and it could then be said that that they have the right people in their life.

Two Experiences

On one hand, they may have experienced life like this for as long as they can remember, and on the other hand, this might not be the case. If they can relate to the former, then one may simply take it for granted.

Where if they have experience life differently, they might be only too aware of how fortunate they are. This is not to say that they just woke up one day and their life had changed, as there is the chance that they had to put a lot of work in.

Another Outlook

Having said that, even if one has more or less always experienced life in this way, it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel grateful for how their life is. They could spend a lot of time thinking about this, and


Why Do Some People Open Up To People Who Will Shame Them?

Posted by: | Posted on: January 12, 2016
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images (9)While someone can be in a position where they are around people who they can open up to, there is also the chance that this is not the case. When one can relate to the former, it could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember.

Having said that, there is also the chance that their life hasn’t always been this way, and one could then find it easy to get into touch with when their life used to be different. As a result of this, one will know what it is like to be on the other side, so to speak.

Appreciation

If they were to do this, they may start to experience a sense of gratitude, and it could be said that this is to be expected. For one thing, their life is likely to be far more fulfilling than it was before.

Yet when one doesn’t experience life in this way, they are unlikely to know what it would be like to experience life differently. In fact, they could believe that this is the only option they have,


How to Move On When You’re Hurt?

Posted by: | Posted on: January 5, 2016
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images (8)Have you ever been hurt? Have you ever waited for an apology that never came? Have you ever felt that someone needed to say “sorry” to you but they didn’t do it? Let’s say a friend throws a party without inviting you, or a co-worker misses a deadline that’s crucial for your favorite project or your partner / spouse really hurts you. You may be gracious enough to forgive if you receive a sincere apology, but what happens if the other person refuses to say the words you long to hear?

Author Robert Brault says, “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” Now, it sounds like an awesome idea doesn’t it? But the question is how to make the first move?

One of the things that has personally helped me a lot in situations like this is to always remind myself that the advantages of forgiveness are the same whether the other person apologizes or not. Think of pardoning others as something you do for yourself rather than for them.

1. Drop the resentment – “Resentment is like drinking poison